


(Don't Fear) The Reaper

by americanchemicals



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Grim Reapers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Ryan Bergara, Protective Shane Madej, Reaper Shane Madej, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:30:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13696902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanchemicals/pseuds/americanchemicals
Summary: Shane had been a reaper for thousands of years, and he had never gotten out of line. As long as he reached his quota every year, always reaped who needed to be reaped, the higher-ups never even noticed him.So, in both the human and reaper world, he was basically invisible. He never had a reason to break any rules, he was content with how things were.That was, until he met Ryan Bergara, and consequently fell in love.





	1. Blue

_Shane had been a reaper for thousands of years, and he had never gotten out of line. As long as he reached his quota every year, always reaped who needed to be reaped, the higher-ups never even noticed him._

_So, in both the human and reaper world, he was basically invisible. He never had a reason to break any rules, he was content with how things were._

_That was, until he met Ryan Bergara, and consequently fell in love._

-

Reaping got boring eventually. Which sounds awful to say, now that Shane thinks about it. He has huge respect for human life, helping people move on to the afterlife, but when he's been doing it since the dawn of time... He found other interests. 

His first job, in the human world, had been very uneventful. He had been a servant for one King Arthur during the medieval times, which had been interesting in some aspects, to say the least, before waiting another couple thousand years to take up a new job. He mostly did this, because Death had stressed that we should not get too attached to the humans. Shane didn't see how any could get attached to the humans, many were very cruel to those of their own species, committing horrid acts against each other. 

During the Black Plague, Shane became a doctor. It was more of a facade than anything else, going to people's bedsides as they were dying to move them on to the next life. He did find the costumes the doctors wore to be very... fascinating, as well.

After that, the jobs seemed to blur together. Nothing really that notable, Shane would travel the world, curious to watch humans make different advances in their societies and how they lived.

He had stopped in the United States while it was still a colony, and ended up staying there to this day. There was just something about the country that he loved, kept him there over the years.

It was how he had ended up at Buzzfeed, of all places. It was a much more public job, putting his face on the internet for the whole world. After this, he was going to have to lay low and in the dark for a few decades before re-emerging. That, or maybe change faces. He kinda liked his face though, he had had it for this long, and was a little attached to it. 

He also liked Buzzfeed, because everyone there was so young. Young people, statistically, had a very decreased chance of dying. Which meant, that statistically, Shane was highly unlikely to ever have to reap one of his coworkers. 

Shane made friends here, but he wasn't too close with anyone. They were all work friends, people he didn't hang out with outside of work, and that was good. He had never had any problems with attachment, and he wasn't going to start now. 

Ryan Bergara was one of those work friends. They had done a few videos together, more specifically Test Friends, and he seemed like a nice guy. The type of human that was nice to other people, never wanting to hurt any feelings. Shane appreciated those types of people more than others, it was just in his nature.

The only thing about Ryan that concerned him in any way, was the fact that his lifespan was so short. Looking at the number above Ryan's head, he only had seven more years to live. 

Shane told himself, when he saw that number, that he would have to leave this company before that number got too close. 

-1 year later-

"Unsolved just got a budget raise," Ryan said cheerfully as he sat down at his desk next to Shane's. 

"Whatcha going to do with all that dough?" Shane asked, spinning in his chair to face the shorter man.

"Get new equipment. There's this thing called a spirit box, let me explain it to you, it basically..." And Ryan delved into his rambles. From what Shane was hearing, he was not going to like this spirit box. 

But, he liked how Ryan's face lit up when he was talking about Unsolved. Ryan was a passionate man, throwing everything into his work, and this series was his baby. How Shane got dragged into it, he had no idea. He honestly hadn't thought it would get as popular as it did when he agreed to join on, but as it exploded with views with each new video... 

And he did enjoy traveling with Ryan around the country. He preferred the True Crime season to the Supernatural one, but that was only because he was a supernatural being and biased on the subject.

At first, he had felt bad about lying to Ryan about the fact that ghosts weren't real. Especially when they would go to locations, and the ghosts would curiously follow Shane, attracted to his energy. He did his best to reap as many as he could, but it was honestly a bit physically draining. One time he had gone far enough to make himself physically sick from reaping too many tortured souls, and had ended up making the excuse that he had eaten a bad airport hot dog. 

The good thing that came from reaping so much was that he reached his quota very quickly, and it gave him more time to lounge around his apartment and do normal leisure things, like watching movies. 

Movies were probably one of the best things that humanity had come up with. To have something so readily available to help them escape from reality, while also providing entertainment, it was one of Shane's favorite pastimes. 

And if he started sharing that pastime with Ryan, then who cared? So what, if he was hanging out with a work friend outside of work? It didn't mean anything. And besides, they had to get along, with how much they traveled and shared rooms together. 

But as Unsolved progressed, Shane found himself enjoying being in Ryan's company more and more. As their friendship reached its third year, Shane came to the realization that he was truly and utterly fucked. 

It had been while filming an episode. Ryan had been spooked by something grabbing his shoulder, and was panicking. Shane had seen what had happened, it hadn't been a light grab, it had been rough and forceful. Definitely done by one of the darker entities of the house, Shane was going to personally make their existence a living hell once he got Ryan to calm down. 

"Ryan, breathe. Look at me, hey, it's going to be okay," Shane had spoken lightly, hands hovering over Ryan's shoulders. He wasn't sure if touching him or hugging him would make the situation worse, so he chose to not risk it.

What he wasn't expecting, was for Ryan to launch himself into Shane's chest, arms tightening around his middle. Shane continued to shush him as he rubbed comforting circles into Ryan's back, when he felt something blossom in his chest. 

It was an emotion. Normally, Shane would only feel these when he absorbed souls, because it was the only time he could truly connect with humanity. But now, as Ryan hugged him in the run-down abandoned building, Shane felt an emotion completely on his own.

And it was love. 

 


	2. Burnin' for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anyone asks where I've been,, honestly, I don't even know myself
> 
> also the writing style here is much different than the first chapter but that's because I like this style better so, I think this is like a light crack fic now?

"I'm so fucking screwed." Shane was sat on his couch, his best friend sitting on the floor opposite to him. 

"Dude, that's an understatement. If boss finds out, you're toast," Remiel laughed, but his eyes revealing that he was serious at the same time, "you just had to go and fall in love with a human."

"Remi, dude, I don't know what to do. I should just fake my death and move to a desolate part of Russia."

"I've heard that the radioactive part of Chernobyl is lovely this time of year."

"You dumbass, Chernobyl is in Ukraine," Shane cried, throwing the nearest object (a book) at the other reaper's head. 

"Sorry, the last time I was there it was still the USSR. And who says you have to fake your death? Isn't this Ryan dude going to be dying soon anyways?"

"Shut up!" Shane shot up from the couch, and Remiel backed up into the wall.

"Dude, wait, I'm TRYING to make a point here!" 

"If you manage to start a relationship with this guy, and he's already got a short life expectancy, by getting into a relationship with him you'll give YOURSELF a short life expectancy. Sariel will literally kill you if he knows you have a soft spot for the humans, so..." Remiel was waving his hands around and gesturing, but also didn't really seem like he knew what he was talking about.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" Shane asked, in all seriousness.

"You know that is my job, right?"

"Fair point. Alright, if you think this could work and I could get away with it for more than a week, tell me: how I am supposed to get Ryan to go out with me? I've never had to woo a human before."

"Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe we could watch a few romcoms for ideas?" Remiel suggested, but was also looking for another excuse to watch  _The Notebook._

-

Shane's phone buzzed in his pocket. An incoming text. He was currently riding passenger as Ryan drove them to a location where they were going to film for the night. 

_**Death of me:** can't u snuggle up with him when it gets too spoopy at work_

Shane shot back a quick reply.  _If you use the word 'spoopy' ever again, I will literally kill you_

_**Death of me:** of corpse, my bad_

"Who are you texting?" Ryan asked, glancing over at Shane for a quick second. 

"My friend," Shane replied curtly.

"What're you two talking about?"

_**Death of me:** c'mon stilts, don't shut the lid on me. I'm just trying to be helpful here. _

_**Shane:**_ _'shut the lid?' what makes you assume I'm going to put you in a coffin when I bury you alive?_

"He's trying to determine whether or not he wants to watch  _The Twilight_ series," he told Ryan, who grimaced. 

"Yikes. You have some interesting friends there, Madej."

There was a brief pause before Ryan started speaking again. "You know, I don't think I've ever met any of your friends, outside of the ones that work at Buzzfeed."

"Well, there's only the one, to be honest," Shane answered, because honesty is the best policy when it comes to prospective love interests. Especially when you were already lying to them, about, being human and mortal and all that fun stuff.

"Only one? Are you serious?" They had reached their hotel at this point, but they were just sitting in the car in the parking lot.

"Yeah. His name is Remi... I've known him my entire life, basically. We grew up together."

"I'd like to meet him, sometime, I think. I'd love to meet a guy that probably knows all your embarrassing secrets."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on instagram: americanchemicals  
> i love making friends and talking to people, and hmu if you want advice on anything from relationships (because I'm very qualified on that, pfft) to writing to college applications


End file.
